In the event you are of the crowd, the very, very large crowd attending this year you are/aren't privy to a few things:
- Everyone is concerned with what to wear
- Everyone is concerned with whether or not their shoes will be better than Ohmommy's.
- Almost everyone is as concerned with whether or not they will get swag
- The main trending topic on twitter is in reference to what they weigh/wish they weighed for BlogHer
- BlogHer is SO big, what will you do?
I am here to answer for you, and where I can't answer I will offer you life saving tools to help aid you.
Everyone is concerned with what to wear
ANSWER: Stop worrying about it. Other women are so obsessed with the same thing they will not notice if you are stark ass nekkid. Though it is true that women don't dress for men, they dress for one another; BlogHer is the exception to the rule.
LIFE SAVING TIPS: Unless if I was there. Then you should be totally concerned as I am a judgmental pig.
Everyone is concerned with whether or not their shoes will be better than Ohmommy's.
ANSWER: Again, give up. They won't be.
LSA: Unless you are familiar with Bag, Borrow, Steal. There. Go rent yourself an amazing handbag that should cost upwards of 30K. Then don't worry if your shoes are better than anyone, be glad I am not there to mentally tear you apart for flying coach to NYC but carrying a Birkin you rented.
Almost everyone is as concerned with whether or not they will get swag
ANSWER: Ah, you got me here. I could have done without the stick on dryer sheets and the millions of printable brochures. I mean, hello? I flew to Chicago, I didn't exactly bring my document shredder with me. I received nada. I hear there is amazing stuff.
LSA: Should you find yourself in this situation is to run across 5th ave and grab yourself a bag from Fendi. Put a few empty boxes in it and schlep it all over the Hilton. Feel the bag. Be the bag. Pretend you got a pair of Croc flip flops or a bedroom toy. (Both were rumored to be swag gifts)
The main trending topic on twitter is in reference to weight and BlogHer
ANSWER: Really. Just read some blogs, it is the concern of many. If you had the best of intentions of losing some lb's and you fell prey to the office birthday cake a few too many times, heed my advice: don't go.
LSA: Cancel BlogHer. Book your family trip to Greece. Greeks love full figured women. They need to know you eat. If you don't eat, they don't want you around. Two birds. One stone. You don't show your (possibly chubby) face at BlogHer and you get to go to Greece.
BlogHer is SO big, what shall I do?
ANSWER: Have you ever been amongst a giant crowd of people taller than you? You know something awesome must be going on inside that mob, but you can't break through to find out? That is what the entirety of the weekend will be like.
LSA: But when life gives you bloggers, make a good time of it. Chances are, the blogger standing next will get in on the crazy and help make a party with you.
