What my first semester back at school taught me, besides more than being a trolling encyclopedia for the human anatomy, was how to appreciate staying at home. I became the most efficient housewife I have ever been. I had this down to an art I never knew existed and had once again fallen in love with something I had to do anyhow, which lets face it friends, takes some fucking skills.
I'd wake up exactly 30 minutes before the kids needed to be out of bed, dress directly in work out clothes ready to head straight to the gym from drop off. I'd prepare a wonderful breakfast that only used the slightest of kitchen items so clean up and dishwasher loading was quick and never had to be left for after the gym. In years past, I would convince myself that if I didn't have 2 hours to dedicate at the gym, I was better off running. But running had become a plateau. Now, I knew that I could bang out a great kick ass workout in a little over an hour and in 4 weeks was freaking tickled over how quickly little shapes were taking place. Then I went to Texas and had a carb load festival of enchiladas, tacos and booze. And while I returned a tad bloated, it went away immediately and back at the gym I was. Gym time had become only slightly compromised since the kids were at camp daily for a few hours, but for the next 4 weeks. So I grabbed a friend and condensed workouts to 3 days a week, harder than before. And you know what motivated me? My pretty abs. I'd wake in the morning to sashay over to the full length mirror, and lift my arms above my head to admire my handiwork. I started only wearing tshirts to bed just for this little gift of the morning.
And just as karma would have it, just as I was starting to enjoy the way my abs and obliques were looking, I would need an appendectomy. Three small incisions to compliment my road map of stretch marks. I would be taken from work out duty for 2 weeks only to resume a true workout in 6-8. GAH! I am leaving for Greece in 2 weeks! No gym time?! As much as I knew I wanted to be freaking out, I was so freaking happy to be out of the agonizing pain. I was so happy the surgeon didn't say that the pain was from some cancerous tumor and was only a bum appendix. Which as my great friend Holly said Who needs an appendix, anyhow?! That and the narcotics being pushed through my IV every few hours tended to the awful reminder that I wouldn't be gettin' my gym on and working myself silly a few days a week.
I stayed over night, making it a 36 hour hospital stay, including the time they sent me home from the ER with the discharge notice of 'inconclusive CT scan' and the thirty minutes I was home before the attending called me at 3:00 am to both apologize as well as offer to send the ambulance because after another look at the films, the appendix still not visible, other factors have convinced them it was an appendicitis and please come straight back.
The morning after surgery my surgeon came in to check on me. He sat at the end of my bed and apologized that I was sent home and told me it was nothing more than a standard irritated appendix. Also to explain that the reason the appendix couldn't be seen two evenings prior was because I didn't have enough belly fat to aid in pushing the appendix away from the colon to see it on a scan. Oh, yes. Yes he did say that. Oh yes, yes I did say in the most convincing manner I could 'I'm sorry, it must the meds, but did you just say I have a small amount of belly fat?'
Silk screened shirts and bumper stickers will be ready shortly. I am working with some crafty women on Etsy to embroider some shirts as well as backpacks-it's almost Back To School time, you know! If your 3rd grader would like I might be able to work up some pencil cases in the deal.
